Sunday, June 29, 2014

Starting a New Year

Well, ok. I think I will. 
     Hello there. It's been awhile. Time to start off the new year fresh! What? I know, it's not December. Don't worry, I haven't lost it! But it has been a year! And I am ready to close it out! 
     2013 started off great for me! I knew it was MY year! Then June came. Everything changed. The last months of 2013 and the first six of this one have been... interesting. But before I go any further I must say I have also been very blessed in many ways the last 13 months. I am just ready for a new light and a new love. 
     My grandmother was diagnosed with an extremely rare and inoperable bile duct cancer in June of 2013. Only those closest to me knew the exact diagnosis as we were not telling everyone. The roller coaster began. I have been close to my grandmother since birth. For most of my life she has been only a few hours away and at one point was less than an hour from me. She was always there. For everything. To have her diagnosed with cancer was heart wrenching. And not only did she have cancer, she was also dealing with dementia. She could no longer live alone. My parents gave up there lives here in Jax to take care of her. Yes, my grandmother still lived in her house. Alone. The same house she had lived in for 60+ years. 
     Every day was a new day. One moment things were fine, the next she was near death. This went on and on everyday until she passed away April 19, 2014. This constant back and forth kept me continuously on my toes. I had many big plans past June 2013! (Yep, this is where the selfish part of me shines VERY bright!) Trips to Boston, races, expos to work for DONNA, a 40th birthday bash in Paris... I didn't want any of that to be ruined! Well, it never was.

     I returned from Paris and was actually able to spend my spring break with her. I was scheduled to run the inaugural Tomoka Marathon when my parents called and said I should plan on coming to say my goodbyes. I opted to not run the race and drove straight down to Tampa instead. Three weeks later she was gone. She passed away while I was working the Boston Marathon expo for runDONNA. It had been a busy day starting with the BAA 5k that morning, typical expo work & the surprise interview for a website promoting our race. I didn't find out until later that night. My expo partner, Melissa, and I were on a street corner in the North End of Boston heading to one of my favorite places for dinner. I received the text from my dad and started crying right there on the corner. We continued on to dinner - there was nothing I could really do - and as we walked, Melissa brilliantly stated that she had waited. My grandmother had waited until I was in my favorite place on earth. Somewhere she knew I would be happy and surrounded by all that I loved. She was so right. 
     It's been a little over two months since she passed and it is still very weird and fresh. (This in itself is harder to write than I thought it would be!) I catch myself at least once daily thinking some random thought like she is still here, and then it hits me, she's gone. I realized just the other day that this will be my first school year in my almost 20 years of teaching that she won't be there to quiz me about what's going on at school. She herself was a teacher. But deal with it all I must. She wouldn't want it any other way. She was very good at picking up and moving on. I guess that's where I get it from!
     So as June comes to a close, I have decided to treat it as the end of my "year" and move on to the new! July signifies the last half of the year anyway so why not start it off right and end 2014 my way! July is also the start of my marathon training season and a new season full of goals! In order to achieve those goals I have had to really look at my diet and fitness. I have been all over the place with my training since DONNA in February. I have let myself go in so many ways! (Hello! Crepes every day in Paris?!? Yep! They were lovely too!) 

I have also just returned from an amazing 2 1/2 weeks of wonderful in Boston - yes, again! I ate and did as I pleased. I also ran a lot of hills. Oh, and achieved a 10k PR, but I'll save that for another blog post! So now that I am home and redirecting my life, I have spent this past weekend doing a lot of purging! Cleaning out my life of things no longer needed or serving a purpose, emptying the pantry and fridge of the unhealthy (yes, the Girl Scout cookies are gone!), and organizing my workouts and meal plans. I even purged a tree from my back yard! 

Who needs a gym when you can haul tree trunks??
Dad did the cutting, I did the hauling!

     Not one to follow anyone else's strict rules, I have been reading many books on nutrition, racing weight and eating clean. I am combining them and making a ME plan. I am using the 21 Day Fix to help me meal plan and get portions under control and I am sticking to my workouts! Yep, even if I sleep in too late to run - it's HOT here - I go do it anyway! 

Saturday - 6 miles at 9:30am - 85* and 80% humidity!
     I know it won't be easy leaving the old and moving on to the new, but I have a lot of fire and strength inside me. I have a strong belief in myself and what I want. I have a passion that is driving me forward. Nothing and no one can stop that combination! So, look out world, I'm back! I'm taking the end of 2014 and making it mine! I'll be doing better about my blogging as well. I won't sacrifice my life to blog, but I will tell my story! There's a few old ones I've been meaning to tell you! It's about time, don't ya think?!? 

Happy New Year! Let's end 2014 with a bang! Get after it! Reassess your goals and finish it your way! I'm sure going to! Join me!